Wednesday, July 31, 2013

1 - Stop Hoping for a Completion of Anything in Life...

Most men make the error of thinking that one day it will be done. They think, "If I can work enough, then one day I could rest." Or, "One day my woman will understand something and then she will stop complaining." Or, "I'm only doing this now so that one day I can do what I really want with my life."

 The masculine error is to think that eventually things will be different in some fundamental way. They won't.

It never ends. As long as life continues, the creative challenge is to tussle, play, and make love with the present moment while giving your unique gift.

2 - Live With an Open Heart Even If It Hurts...

Closing down in the midst of pain is a denial of a man's true nature.

A superior man is free in feeling and action, even amidst great pain and hurt. If necessary, a man should live with a hurting heart rather than a closed one.

He should learn to stay in the wound of pain and act with spontaneous skill and love even from that place.

3 - Live As If Your Father Were Dead...

A man must love his father and yet be free of his father's expectations and criticisms in order to be a free man.

4 - Know Your Real Edge and Don't Fake it...

It is honorable for a man to admit his fears, resistance, and edge of practice. It is simply true that each man has his limit, his capacity for growth, and his destiny.

But it is dishonorable for him to lie to himself or others about his real place. He shouldn't pretend he is more enlightened than he is — nor should he stop short of his actual edge.

The more a man is playing his real edge, the more valuable he is as good company for other men, the more he can be trusted to be authentic and fully present. Where a man's edge is located is less important than whether he is actually living his edge in truth, rather than being lazy or deluded.

5 - Always Hold To Your Deepest Realization...

Eternity must be a man's home, moment by moment.

Without it, he is lost, always striving, grasping at puffs of smoke.

A man must do anything necessary to glimpse, and then stabilize, this ever fresh realization, and organize his life around it.

6 - Never Change Your Mind Just to Please a Woman...

If a woman suggests something that changes a man's perspective, then he should make a new decision based on his new perspective. But he should never betray his own deepest knowledge and intuition in order to please his woman or "go along" with her.

Both she and he will be weakened by such an action.

They will grow to resent each other, and the crust of accumulated inauthenticity will burden their love, as well as their capacity for free action.

7 - Your Purpose Must Come Before Your Relationship...

Every man knows that his highest purpose in life cannot be reduced to any particular relationship.

If a man prioritizes his relationship over his highest purpose, he weakens himself, disserves the universe, and cheats his woman of an authentic man who can offer her full, undivided presence.

8 - Lean Just Beyond Your Edge...

In any given moment, a man's growth is optimized if he leans just beyond his edge, his capacity, his fear.

He should not be too lazy, happily stagnating in the zone of security and comfort. Nor should he push far beyond his edge, stressing himself unnecessarily, unable to metabolize his experience.

He should lean just slightly beyond the edge of fear and discomfort. Constantly. In everything he does.

9 - Do It for Love...

The way a man penetrates the world should be the same way he penetrates his woman: not merely for personal gain or pleasure, but to magnify love, openness, and depth.

10 - Enjoy Your Friends' Criticism...

A man's capacity to receive another man's direct criticism is a measure of his capacity to receive masculine energy.

If he doesn't have a good relationship to masculine energy (e.g., his father), then he will act like a woman and be hurt or defensive rather than make use of other men's criticism.

11 - If You Don't Know Your Purpose, Discover It, Now...

Without a conscious life purpose a man is totally lost, drifting, adapting to events rather than creating events.

Without knowing his life purpose a man lives a weakened, impotent existence, perhaps eventually becoming even sexually impotent, or prone to mechanical and disinterested sex.

12 - Be Willing to Change Everything in Your Life...

A man must be prepared to give 100% to his purpose, fulfill his karma or dissolve it, and then let go of that specific form of living.

He must be capable of not knowing what to do with his life, entering a period of unknowingness and waiting for a vision or a new form of purpose to emerge.

These cycles of strong specific action followed by periods of not knowing what the hell is going on are natural for a man who is shedding layers of karma in his relaxation into truth.

13 - Don't Use Your Family As an Excuse...

If a man never discovers his deepest purpose, or if he permanently compromises it and uses his family as an excuse for doing so, then his core becomes weakened and he loses depth and presence.

His woman loses trust and sexual polarity with him, even though he may be putting much energy into parenting their children and doing the housework.

A man should, of course, be a full participant in caring for children and the household. But if he gives up his deepest purpose to do so, ultimately, everyone suffers.

14 - Don't Get Lost in Tasks and Duties...

Whatever the specifics of a man's purpose, he must always refresh the transcendental element of his life through regular meditation and retreat.

A man should never get lost in the details of his life and forget that, ultimately and in truth, life amounts to nothing other than what is the deepest truth of this present moment.

Tasks don't get a man anywhere more conscious or free than he is capable of being in this present moment.

15 - Stop Hoping for Your Woman to Get Easier...

A woman often seems to test her man's capacity to remain unperturbed in his truth and purpose. She tests him to feel his freedom and depth of love, to know that he is trustable.

Her tests may come in the form of complaining, challenging him, changing her mind, doubting him, distracting him, or even undermining his purpose in a subtle or not so subtle way.

A man should never think his woman's testing is going to end and his life will get easier. Rather, he should appreciate that she does these things to feel his strength, integrity, and openness.

Her desire is for his deepest truth and love. As he grows, so will her testing.

16 - Women Are Not Liars...

"Keeping your word" is a masculine trait, in men or women.

A person with a feminine essence may not keep her word, yet it is not exactly "lying." In the feminine reality, words and facts take a second place to emotions and the shifting moods of relationship.

When she says, "I hate you," or "I'll never move to Texas," or "I don't want to go to the movies," it is often more a reflection of a transient feeling-wave than a well considered stance with respect to events and experience.

On the other hand, the masculine means what it says. A man's word is his honor.

The feminine says what it feels. A woman's word is her true expression in the moment.

17 - Praise Her...

The masculine grows by challenge, but the feminine grows by praise.

A man must be unabashed and expressed in his appreciation for his woman.

Praise her freely.

18 - Tolerating Her Leads to Resenting Her...

A man gets resentful and frustrated with his woman when he is too afraid, weak, or unskilled to penetrate her moods and tests into love.

He wishes she were easier to deal with. But it is not entirely her fault that she is bitchy and complaining. It is also a reflection of her lack of being penetrated by love.

When a man resigns, and simply tolerates his woman's self-destructive moods, it is a sign of his weakness. His attitude has become one of wanting to escape women and the world, rather than wanting to serve women and the world into love.

A man shouldn't tolerate bitchy and complaining moodiness in his woman, but he should serve her and love her with every ounce of his skill and perseverance. Then, if she cannot or will not open in love, he might decide to end his relationship with her, harboring no anger or resentment, because he knows he has done everything he could.

19 - Don't Analyze Your Woman...

The feminine's moods and opinions are like weather patterns. They are constantly changing, severe and gentle, and they have no single source.

No analysis will work. There is no linear chain of cause and effect that can lead to the kernel of the "problem."

There is no problem, only a storm, a breeze, a sudden change in weather. And the bases of these storms are the high and low pressure systems of love.

When a woman feels love flowing deeply, her mood can instantly evaporate into joy, regardless of the supposed reason for the mood.

20 - Don't Suggest That a Woman Fix Her Own Emotional Problem...

Asking a woman to analyze or try to fix her own emotions is a negation of her feminine core, which is pure energy in motion, like the ocean.

She can learn to surrender her mood to God, she can learn to open her heart in the midst of closure, she can learn to relax her edges and trust love, but she will never "fix" anything by analyzing her "problem."

21 - Stay With Her Intensity To a Point...

When a woman gets emotionally intense, a mediocre man wants to calm her down and discuss it, or leave and come back later when she is "sane."

A superior man penetrates her mood with imperturbable love and unwavering consciousness.

If she still refuses to live more fully in love, after a time, he lets her go.

22 - Don't Force the Feminine to Make Decisions...

A man abandons responsibility by expecting that his woman will always make her own decisions and then be accountable for the results.

This expectation is a withholding of his masculine gift. It puts a woman in the position of magnifying her own masculine.

It is good for some women to learn to animate their masculine capacity to make a decision and stick with it. But if a man abnegates his responsibility to provide his woman with the gift of masculine clarity and decisiveness, then she will become chronically sharp, angular, and distrustful of his love.

She will cease surrendering in love with him, cease trusting his masculine capacity, and, instead, become her own man.

23 - Your Attraction to the Feminine Is Inevitable...

Masculine men are attracted to forms of feminine energy: radiant women, beer, music, nature, etc.

If a man tries to hide his attraction, it reveals some degree of shame with respect to his own sexual core.

24 - Choose a Woman Who Is Your Complimentary Opposite...

If a man is very masculine by nature, then he will be attracted to a very feminine woman, who will compliment his energy. The more neutral or balanced he is, the more balanced he will prefer his woman. And, if a man is more feminine by nature, his energy will be complemented by the strong direction and purposiveness of a more masculine woman.

By understanding their own needs, men can learn to accept the "whole package" of a woman.

For instance, a more masculine man can expect that any woman who really turns him on and enlivens him will also be relatively wild, undisciplined, "bonkers," chaotic, prone to changing her mind and "lying."

Still, from an energetic perspective, this kind of woman will be much more healing and inspiring to him than a more balanced or neutral woman who is steady, reasonable, "trustworthy," and able to say what she means in a way he can understand.

25 - Know What Is Important in Your Woman...

The feminine is the force of life.

The more masculine a man is, the more his woman's feminine energy (as opposed to other qualities) will be important to him.

26 - You Will Often Want More Than One Woman...

Any man with a masculine sexual essence will desire sexual variety.

Even if he loves his intimate partner and is completely committed to her, he will naturally want sexual occasions with other women besides his chosen intimate partner. How a man deals with his desire for other women is up to him.

He should know, however, that there is no way to avoid such desires.

He should also know that acting on such desires, though temporarily enlivening and exhilarating, often ends up complicating his life far more than the occasion itself is worth.

27 - Young Women Offer You a Special Energy...

In general, youth in a woman bespeaks radiant, unobstructed, and refreshing feminine energy. A young woman tends to be less compromised by masculine layers of functional protection built up over years of need.

Traditionally, young women were understood to offer a man a particularly rejuvenative quality of energy.

Older women may maintain, or even increase, the freshness and radiance of their energy, but it is rare.

28 - Each Woman Has a "Temperature" That Can Heal or Irritate You...

Some women are hotter, some are cooler.

In general, blonde, light skinned, Japanese, and Chinese women are cooler. Dark skinned, brunette, red-headed, Korean, and Polynesian women are hotter.

Even though a man might choose to remain in a committed intimacy with one woman, his needs for different temperatures of feminine energy may change over time.

A hot woman who aroused his passion several years ago may irritate him now .A cooler woman who soothed his heart several years ago may seem tiresome to him now.

 By understanding how different temperatures of feminine energy may affect him, a man could make more skillful life choices without confusion.

29 - Choose a Woman Who Chooses You...

If a man wants a woman who doesn't want him, he cannot win.

His neediness will undermine any possible relationship, and his woman will never be able to trust him.

A man must determine whether a woman really wants him but is playing hard to get, or whether she really doesn't want him.

If she doesn't want him, he should immediately cease pursuing her and deal with his pain by himself.

30 - What She Wants Is Not What She Says...

Sometimes a woman will make a request of her man in plain English, not to get him to do something, but to see if he is so weak that he will do it.

In other words, she is testing his capacity to do what is right, not what she is asking for.

In such cases, if the man does what his woman asks, she will be disappointed and angry. The man will have no idea why she is so angry or what could possibly please her.

He must remember that her trust is engendered not by him fulfilling her requests, but by him magnifying love, consciousness, and success in their lives, in spite of her requests.

31 - Her Complaint Is Content-Free...

Women are always wanting divine masculine presence in a man, regardless of their specific complaint or mood.

A man should hear his woman's complaints as warning bells, and then do his best to align his life with his truth and purpose.

However, if he believes in the literal content of her complaint, he will immediately go off course, for the content reflects her present mood more than a careful observation of his tendencies over time.

Her complaint should be valued as a reminder to "get it together," and perhaps as an indication as to how. But more often than not, the specifics of her complaint do not describe the real, underlying action or tendency that needs to be changed.

32 - She Doesn't Really Want to Be Number One...

A woman sometimes seems to want to be the most important thing in her man's life. However, if she is the most important thing, then she feels her man has made her the number one priority and is not fully dedicated or directed to divine growth and service.

She will feel her man's dependence on her for his happiness, and this will make her feel smothered by his neediness and clinging.

A woman really wants her man to be totally dedicated to his highest purpose – and also to love her fully. Although she would never admit it, she wants to feel that her man would be willing to sacrifice their relationship for the sake of his highest purpose.

33 - Your Excellent Track Record Is Meaningless to Her...

A man's track record means nothing to the feminine.

A man could be perfect for ten years, but if he's an asshole for 30 seconds his woman acts like he's always been one.

The feminine responds to the moment of energy, forgetting her man's history of past behavior. A man's past behavior is irrelevant to his woman's feeling in the moment.

But men base much on another man's history of behavior, so they think their own track record should count for something. But to a woman, it doesn't.

34 - She Wants to Relax in the Demonstration of Your Direction...

A woman must be able to trust you to take charge if she relaxes her own masculine edge.

This is true financially, sexually, emotionally, and spiritually.

The man doesn't have to actually do all the work, but he must be able to steer the course if his woman is going to relax into her feminine without fear.

35 - You Are Always Searching for Freedom...

The essential masculine ecstasy is in the moment of release from constraint.

This could occur when facing death and living through it, succeeding in (and thus being released from) your purpose, and in competition (which is ritual threat of death).

The masculine is always seeking release from constraint into freedom. The feminine often doesn't understand these masculine ways and needs.

36 - Own Your Darkest Desires...

If a man disowns his dark masculine desire for freedom, then he kinks the hose of his masculine force.

His energy will not flow freely, and his attention will be bound by unfulfilled yearnings.

Most importantly, if his hose is kinked in this way, he weakens his masculine capacity to stand fearless in the death that is conscious life. He will not be able to face the unknown, the groundless ground of being, and still function from his heart in love.

37 - She Wants the "Killer" in You...

Among many other qualities, a woman wants the "killer" in her man.

She is turned off if her man is afraid and wants her to kill the cockroach or the mouse while he stands on a chair and watches.

She is turned off if her man wants her to get out of bed in order to check out the strange sounds in the house to find out if a burglar made the noise.

Fearlessness, or the capacity to transcend the fear of death for the sake of love, is a quintessential form of the ultimate masculine gift.

38 - She Needs Your Consciousness to Match Her Energy...

A man must be able to meet his woman with consciousness equivalent to her energy.

The feminine destructress must be met by the masculine destroyer.

The goddess of devotion must be met by the god of all-pervading love.

Dark or light, a man can't be stuck in, or avoid, any areas of his masculine capacity or his woman will test him there.

These areas of testing are usually first on the dark side. Only after trust is established there, only when the dark feminine lover knows she will be met by the dark masculine lover, will testing proceed toward the light.

39 - The Feminine Is Abundant...

There is never a shortage of women or feminine energy.

If a man feels that there aren't enough women, or that life isn't giving him what he wants, he is simply negating his relationship to the feminine.

This sense of starvation— "life is not sustaining me" or "there are no good women"—is usually rooted in a man's early childhood relationship with his mother.

Life itself is the feminine. There is never a shortage of feminine energy, only a resistance to receiving, trusting, and embracing it.

40 - Allow Older Women Their Magic...

Men should support older women in the their wisdom, power, and intuitive and healing capacities.

Men should not degrade older women by demanding or desiring them to be like young women. There should be no such comparison.

Each age of woman has its own value, and the transition from superficial shine to deep radiance is inevitable.

41 - Turn Your Lust Into Gifts...

When a man sees a beautiful woman it is natural for him to feel energy in his body, which he usually interprets as sexual desire.

Rather than dispersing this energy in mental fantasy, a man should learn to circulate his heightened energy. He should breathe fully, circulating the energy fully throughout his body.

He should treat his heightened energy as a gift which could heal and rejuvenate his body, and, through his service, heal the world.

Through these means, his desire is converted into fullness of heart. His lust is converted into service.

His desire is not converted by denying sexual attraction, but by enjoying it fully, circulating it through his body (without allowing it to stagnate as mental fantasy), and returning it to the world, from his heart.

42 - Never Allow Your Desire to Become Suppressed or Depolarized...

When a man denies his desire for the feminine, either by choice or due to familiarity, it is a sign of his depolarization even toward the world.

He may seek a mistress in order to re-invigorate him, but this is usually only a temporary and complicated solution, since it is only a matter of time before his mistress also becomes familiar, and thus tiresome.

Any woman toward whom a man becomes depolarized will feel his rejection, disgust, and turning away. In response, she will become angry and destructive. Her "unhusbanded" energy will begin to move chaotically, becoming even self-destructive.

A man has no excuse; he must cultivate a polarized relationship to his woman and his world if he is to remain in relationship with them.

43 - Use Her Attractiveness as a Slingshot Through Appearance...

A good woman is a source of inspiration and attraction into the world for a man.

He must never forget, however, that neither the world nor his woman is the purpose of his existence. His practice is always to feel through women and the world, without suppression or disdain, into the their source or very nature.

A man's attraction to women must be converted from attraction to women into attraction through women.

He must feel his desire without suppression, and then feel through his desire into the source-energy of desire.

He must feel through her beauty, into the very delight of which her beauty is a but a ripple and reminder.

His whole relation to appearance is epitomized in his relation to women, either as obsession, distraction, or revelation.

44 - Ejaculation Should Be Converted or Consciously Chosen...

There are many physical and spiritual reasons why ejaculation should be converted into non-ejaculatory whole body, brain, and heart orgasms.

But there are also relational reasons.

When a man has no control over his ejaculation, he cannot meet his woman sexually or emotionally. She knows she can deplete him, weaken him, empty him of life force. She has won.

When a man ejaculates easily, he creates ongoing distrust in his woman.

At a subtle level, she feels he cannot be trusted. She, and the world, can deplete and depolarize him easily. This subtle distrust will pervade the relationship.

She will not only doubt him, but actually act to undermine his actions in the world. By undermining him she demonstrates and tests his weakness, but she also hopes that through such tests he can learn to remain full.

45 - Breathe Down the Front...

All men tend to have blocks in the front of their body, along an imaginary line that runs from the top of the head, through the tongue, throat, heart, solar plexus, navel, and genitals, down to the perineum.

The principal bodily key to mastering the world and women is maintaining a full and open front of the body at all times.

The basic method is through full and relaxed breathing, drawing energy down the front, and freeing attention from neurotic self-concern.

46 - Ejaculate Up the Spine...

For most men, ejaculation involves spewing their energy and semen out through their genitals. Afterward, they feel they have released stress.

The superior man's orgasm more often explodes up his spine and into his brain, from there raining down through his body like an ambrosial bliss of rejuvenation.

The technique for converting depletive orgasms into rejuvenative orgasms involves contracting the pelvic floor near the genitals and drawing energy upward along the spine, though the use of breath, feeling, and intention.

47 - Take into Account the Primary Asymmetry...

Intimate relationship is never the priority in a masculine man's life and always the priority in a feminine woman's life.

If a man has a masculine sexual essence, then his priority is his mission, his direction toward greater release, freedom, and consciousness.

If a woman has a feminine sexual essence, then her priority is the flow of love in her life, including her relationship with a man whom she can totally trust, in body, emotion, mind, and spirit.

Man and woman must support each other in their priorities if the relationship is going to serve them both.

48 - You Are Responsible for the Growth in Intimacy...

There are masculine and feminine gifts in intimacy, and each gift comes with its own responsibility.

The direction of growth of a relationship is primarily the man's responsibility.

The energy of an intimacy pleasure, sexual flow, and vitality—is primarily the woman's responsibility.

A simplified way of saying this is that the man is responsible for the woman's depth of love, or openness of mood, and the woman is responsible for the man's "erection" or energy in the body.

49 - Insist on Practice and Growth...

Direction in life is a masculine priority, even in intimate relationship.

A less spiritually mature man may say to his woman, "My way or the highway!"

A man in the process of growing will often soften his direction and seek a compromise with his woman, playing Mr. Nice Guy.

But a superior man will not settle for less than the fullest incarnation of love of which he and his woman are capable. With compassion, he slices through all bullshit and demands authenticity and humor. It's as if he were saying to his woman, "The divine way or the highway!"

It's the same masculine insistence on direction that a weaker man will demand. But rather than wanting his woman to follow his personal direction, a superior man wants her to move in the direction that most serves her growth in love and happiness.

He will settle for nothing less.

50 - Restore Your Purpose in Solitude and with Other Men...

A man rediscovers and fine tunes his purpose in solitude, in challenging situations, and in the company of other men who won't settle for his bullshit.

But women strengthen their feminine radiance best in the company of other women in mutual celebration and play.

A man must arrange for both forms of restoration: his own solitude and men's gatherings, and his woman's time with other women.

51 - Practice Dissolving...

Like dissolving in the intensity of an orgasm, a man's greatest desire is to be utterly released.